Dear Mom, Happy Mothers Day

Dear Mom,

Hi there! Hope all is well with you! I am sure you are enjoying Julie Ann and all our friends and family. I'm sure you are rejoicing and prasising the Good Lord for all He has blessed our family with. It is amazing I made it through the second Mothers Day without you. I have to be happy you are free and healthy and happy.

It has been quite a month and only going to get crazier! Can you believe Josh went to Prom and now on his way to manhood, graduating in June. I get teared up thinking about my baby boy being a "grown up". I sometimes go into a panic I can't stand it. You would be a mess too! LOL He sure is special. He is getting a new car...well, old one...1967 Pontiac something or other. It's a boat! He is keeping the "Funion" of course. He will never get rid of the car his grandma Carter gave him. I sure wish it would have came with a case of money in the trunk...that car bleeds Shane and I dry! LOL

Wish you were here so I could call and talk to you. Not only has today been tough missing you, it's just kind of been pretty sucky. Josh had to work, so I didn't get to see him...The boys and Jamathan made the day special though. Flowers and a funny card...plus IHOP for dinner, my fave. It was good in that regard. I would just love to vent...share with my mom what is really going on...someone to tell all my secrets, pain and someone to put me in my place. Love me and share their wisdom. I am just so sick and tired of always being nice...always giving in...trying to make everyone happy...I know, pity party for me...and YES I want some cheese to go with that whine! 

 Well, sitting here wrighting you and listening to the Beatles. Black Bird is my tribute to you. What a song that I feel was written just for you. Actually I can't listen to any Beatles song without thinking of you and picking out something that reminds me of you. My newest favorite song is GET BACK. YouTube has a cool video of them playing it on a rooftop in London. Too bad Yoko had to break them up! Crazy lady! OH and get this, Paul is getting remarried! HA! I love him but isn't he a gluten for punishment! I love how you made music such a natural part of our lives. Memories in the sounds and words touch me and sometimes give me all kinds of mixed feelings! 

Gosh I love and miss you so much! Stacy and Steve are doing good I suppose. Steve is working all the time. I miss talking with him. He seems so detached lately. I was trying to give him time to deal...life has been rough on him...mainly his own doing. Stacy is laid off and so happy about that. She is enjoying being off with the boys. We had lunch Friday. She has her days and sometimes wonder if I am helping her enough. Since you have been gone, I don't know what my purpose is sometimes. You being "Bank of mom" and me taking care of the kids' emotional stuff just doesn't seem to the same...don't feel as needed by them anymore. That is hard. Kind of like my own kids growing out of that stage. 

Well mother, it's late and I have a big case tomorrow morning. YUCK! You know what a morning person I am and not thrilled I have to testify. I love what I do but it pulls at the heart. Besides, Jamathan is looking at me like I need to get some sleep. 

I love you and miss you with all my heart and soul. Tomorrow I am making a special page on here just for music for you. Thank you for being my mom and doing the best you ever could. I am okay....right?

Good night,

All my love,

Jane Marie